What is your initial thought or feeling when you hear the word anger? In most cases, it’s viewed as a “negative emotion.” One reason anger gets a bad reputation is because we aren’t sure how to express it. If we admit to being angry at a person or situation, what do we do about it? Maybe the only way we know is through aggression, rage, outbursts, or lashing out. Therefore, we’d rather not express it at all and get in the habit of silencing or suppressing the emotion. If you find yourself or know someone on either side of the suppression or aggression scale of anger, keep reading. Here at Awakened Path, we are here to remind you that there are healthy ways to manage and understand your anger. In this blog, we will discuss ways to understand your anger, the physical and mental impacts of prolonged anger, and adaptive ways to express and cope with anger.
Understanding anger
Anger is a primary emotion. Primary emotions are instinctual, bodily responses that occur in direct response to an event or trigger. The purpose of primary emotions is to signal an action to take toward a need or provide clarity on something meaningful and important to us. For example, if someone violates your boundaries or rights, it may evoke anger. In this case, the anger response to a violation of a boundary or right communicates the need to take action to protect and defend yourself. This would be considered an adaptive or healthy response to anger. However, maladaptive responses may also occur. But where do these maladaptive responses come from? They often come from secondary emotions.
Anger as a secondary emotion
While primary emotions are hardwired and not something we need to learn, secondary emotions are conditioned responses that often stem from unresolved feelings relative to primary emotions. In other words, secondary emotional responses are based on individuals’ experiences growing up and the internal messages they received about their primary emotions from loved ones, environments, and societal influences. For example, if we were ridiculed or put down when we felt sadness (primary emotion), we may then become fearful of being sad and vulnerable and instead become angry (secondary emotion) when we experience sadness. The pain of being rejected for being sad may have us feeling powerless or weak whereas anger has the opposite effect and may make us feel a sense of power. However, over time this temporary feeling of power starts to become a maladaptive response to anger. This once secondary emotion (anger) may now become a primary emotion in dealing with any painful experiences and ultimately cause us to feel out of control of our emotions. When we don’t feel in control of our emotions we are more likely to respond in extreme ways such as aggression, lashing out, or outbursts.
The effects anger has on our body
Anger activates our sympathetic nervous system, also referred to as the fight-or-flight response. When our sympathetic nervous system is activated, it prepares our body to respond to a threat. While we no longer face the same level of danger as our ancestors did in the wild, our fight-or-flight response still reacts to everyday stressors in the same way. Whether or not the danger is life-threatening is irrelevant to our physiological response—it’s the perception of the threat that triggers the reaction. Once activated, the body releases stress hormones into your bloodstream and directs them towards your muscles, heart, eyes, lungs, and brain to help you respond to the threat. Additionally, while blood is flowing toward those areas, it is flowing away from your digestive system. As a result, you may notice symptoms such as an increased heart rate, muscle tension, rapid breathing, a rise in body temperature, and a decrease in appetite. While this is helpful in emergencies, it is harmful to put your body through these changes for prolonged periods by constantly experiencing anger. This can have detrimental effects on both your physical and mental health.
Physical and mental health effects of prolonged and frequent anger
There are a wide range of complications we can experience physically and mentally from constantly being in a state of anger. Here are some of the systems that are impacted:
Physical health
Cardiovascular system
Increased heart rate: Anger causes your heart to beat faster, pumping more blood through your body.
Raised blood pressure: Your blood vessels constrict, causing a rise in blood pressure, which, if prolonged, can contribute to heart disease.
Release of stress hormones: Adrenaline and cortisol flood the body, increasing alertness but also adding stress to the heart.
Muscular tension
- Tightened muscles: The muscles, particularly in the shoulders, neck, and back, tend to tense up, leading to aches and tension-related headaches.
Sleep disturbances
- The heightened arousal and tension from anger can make it difficult to relax, leading to insomnia or restless sleep.
Immune system
- Suppressed immune response: Chronic anger can weaken the immune system, making the body more susceptible to illness over time.
Mental health
Brain function
- Impaired judgment: Anger triggers the amygdala, the emotional center of the brain, which can override rational thinking, leading to impulsive decisions.
- Decreased cognitive function: Blood flow is redirected from the brain to the muscles, limiting your ability to think clearly.
Increased anxiety
- Chronic anger can fuel feelings of anxiety. As anger and stress hormones remain elevated, your body stays in a heightened state of arousal, leading to constant worry or tension.
Depression
- Long-term, suppressed anger can lead to feelings of helplessness or hopelessness, contributing to depression. People who are unable to express or manage their anger may turn their frustration inward, which can deepen depressive symptoms.
Relationship problems
- Anger can lead to conflicts with loved ones, friends, or coworkers. Over time, unresolved anger can erode trust, communication, and intimacy, damaging personal and professional relationships.
Isolation
- People who are frequently angry may isolate themselves from others, either to avoid conflict or because others distance themselves. This social withdrawal can lead to loneliness and exacerbate mental health symptoms.
Adaptive ways to express and cope with anger
Identify your triggers
Bringing awareness to the things that trigger your anger are key in being able to provide yourself with a choice in responding. If you notice that anger is a frequent expression it can be an indicator that it is a secondary emotion and there are lingering unresolved emotions underneath.
Recognize the levels of anger
There is a difference between being frustrated and being angry. Analyze your situation and ask yourself if anger is required. This takes intention and practice. Reach out to a therapist to help support you in this practice. Remember anger warrants a physiological change in our body to respond to high-stress situations. If the anger does not match the stressor can we identify other emotions we are feeling? Perhaps frustrated, irritated or even annoyed better suits a response to the identified trigger. These emotions may feel more manageable to tolerate and regulate.
Say what you mean and mean what you say
Words carry a lot of weight. Therefore, it is okay to be thoughtful and intentional with the words you speak not only to others but to yourself. Often times the language we are utilizing when expressing our anger or frustration can exacerbate our symptoms making us feel even more upset. Give yourself a few moments to collect your thoughts and express yourself. Using “I” statements are generally a safe way to communicate in a non-confrontational manner. Ex. “I feel frustrated when meetings start late because it disrupts my schedule.”
Grounding
As discussed, anger activates the sympathetic nervous system which means there is extra cortisol and adrenaline pumping through our system bringing up our energy. Grounding helps bring this high energy back down to a neutral place. A good tip to help yourself ground in any setting is to think about engaging any 1 or more of your five senses. For example:
- Holding an object and feeling the texture
- Bringing your focus to an object in the room to notice the colors shape or texture
- Focusing on a particular smell in the room or going for essential oils
- Firmly planting your feet into the ground
- Visualizing a safe place in your mind
- Counting backwards from 100
- Listening to calming music
- Taking deep breaths through the nose and loud audible exhales.
Get involved
Use that fuel and fire in you to create a change. Social justice movements started with someone being angry. Perhaps there are topics or issues that fuel your anger. It can be a gift in making a change. Connect with your local community or do research on ways you can support a cause or make a difference.
Seek support
Anger is a primary instinctual emotion that can help protect us. However, too much anger can be an indicator that anger may be covering up unresolved emotions. When we have unresolved emotions we can feel out of control of our emotions leading to suppression and/or maladaptive responses. We can learn tools that help us regulate our emotions and work through the anger we are feeling. Awakened Path would love to be a resource for you. Reach out to a therapist today for a safe space to express your emotions.
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